Promises, Schmomises

When I began this blog on November 26, 2009, I promised it would be a "light-hearted" look at turning 40. I guaranteed it would not be full of complaints of creaking joints, menopausal menaces, or otherwise irritating medical TMI.

A glance through my archives remind of the first man-shirt I bought for Boy 1, the blizzard we barely survived earlier this year, and the realization that Wee 1 is almost as stubborn as I am. I have laughed a lot and cried a little through the writing of this blog. I have shared the stupid moments and looked at the deep richness of my life, but I have kept my promise.

Today I am breaking my promise.

In March I spent a week in bed with some kind of flu. A few weeks later I spent several hours in the ER with the most excruciating stomach pain ever. Since then I have experienced a level of fatigue rivaling that of any new mom, and various joints and whatnot seem to have begun some kind of mutiny, plaguing me with pain and more fatigue.

As a result, blogging has slowed to a bare minimum. But then, so has everything else.

What I have begun to discover through all of this is just exactly what constitutes the "bare minimum." Last year God taught me to truly focus only on the things that are really important. These months of illness and weariness have led to discover what things are truly non-negotiable.

Here is my list:

• Daily walking in the flow of God's grace.
• Loving and being loved by my husband and sons.
• Touching the lives of others in meaningful ways.

Short, simple, non-negotiable. And when illness, weariness, or other ebbs and flows of life demand a choice, that which does not fit the categories of this list must go.

It almost seems silly that I did not know this before, but I confess I am quite susceptible, to the whims of pride and ambition.

Now, before you go expressing condolences for the myriad things I may have to give up if this physiological mutiny continues, let me stress that a clear knowledge of the non-negotiables is more precious than any achievement I can think of. It is, perhaps, one of the greatest blessings God could have offered to me and my family.

Now that I have fully disclosed medical TMI and thrown my promise to the wind, I plan to get back to the light-hearted look at life I set out to blog about. But be warned, if I have to choose between blogging and having the energy for the nightly family walks Boy 2 recently initiated, blogging will lose every time.