"I just didn't do it..."

To quote a friend:

"Just looked at my two sleeping babies....being a mother is so surreal some times. Who am I to be raising kids???"

My response? This experience keeps us learning and adjusting our parenting as each individual child grows and shows their changing needs.

Boy 1 did not do a group project in his class for academically gifted students. His entire group failed to do it, but for Boy 1 this was a first. I only discovered the problem by accident because I am blessed by not having to follow this child's academics. He loves to learn, he loves to do creative projects, and he always gets stuff done. He's not a rigid perfectionist. He does not beat himself up over a lower grade, and he has made wise decisions from time to time about working harder for one test and allowing another to slip a little based on his own needs. 

So for this 50 year-old 8th grader, having not done a project shocked him. When I began asking about it, he began a mental and verbal dance around what was/was not, what he needed to do to get it done, albeit late, etc. It took the boy two days and a firm confrontation from me to finally say, "I just didn't do it and I have been dancing around it because I did not want to admit it." 

That simple statement brought Boy 1 such relief, he amazed himself. So much energy went into not facing reality that he could not move efficiently towards dealing with that reality.

Enter my need to adjust my parenting to this individual child. I knew all along he "just didn't do it." I didn't need him to admit that. He did. He needed to hear from me that screwing up occasionally is a normal part of life. He needed to know perfection was not expected by me, his father, his Father, or anyone else. He needed to let himself off the hook.

Then he needed to get the project done.

Had the situation been different, had he been in a bad habit of "just not doing it," had he been a more typically disorganized and distracted 8th grader, my parenting would have been different and he would have felt more than just the sting of his own conscience. 

I wonder how often I do this dance with God. How often do I dance around the things God just wants me to admit and then deal with? How much energy do I put into not facing reality that my ability to deal with that reality is diminished?

How often does God adjust His parenting of me as I reveal my individual self to Him? 

I'm thinkin' pretty much always!