I love these young moms. They are fun and interesting and have beautiful kids who range in age from 3 weeks to 4 years old (with a couple of school-age kids as well). I love these moms because they are real. Everyone was in shorts or capris, no one wasted time on makeup for a trip to the park, and every one of them has retained the edge of intelligence that marks them as adults.
These moms, who hold little ones and walk around with some kind of goop on their shoulders pretty much all the time, were more than happy to let me hold the 3 week old. And not a single one of them tried to hide from our newest mom the fact that the first 2-3 months is the hardest ever.
"Enjoy every precious moment," we tell brand new moms. Good advice, but we forget to tell them there are very few, if any, precious moments in those first weeks and months.
"Sleep when the baby sleeps," we advise, yet we don't mention that the baby will only sleep about an hour at a time because a 2-hour feeding schedule means the baby eats for 30 minutes and burps for another 30 minutes of that 2 hour cycle and that sometimes the baby gets hungry even sooner and the cry for that sounds just like every other cry and no you are not a bad mom if in desperation you try feeding early only to discover the baby was hungry and you held out because the "book" said to wait!
"This time will pass by too fast," we warn, not realizing those are the sweetest words on earth to an exhausted, uncertain, and guilt-ridden new mother whose friends all forgot to tell her there may be more screaming than smiling at first and it's not the mom's fault.
And that's why I love the young moms I hung out with this morning. Their words of wisdom and comfort to their new compatriot were very real:
These weeks will pass quickly, hallelujah! It's impossibly hard right now, but it won't always be. And once this part is over, you can repress the memories and it will all be a blur. And THAT is when you will be able to start 'enjoying every precious moment!'
I thoroughly enjoyed spending time with you again, Christine. It may not have been easy to tell as I was distracted by keeping track of Keegan. And thanks for calling me "young", I know I won't be called that forever!
ReplyDeleteMy young mom's group a couple of years ago would have loved having you around. :)
ReplyDeleteSo true. I love real moms (of any age!) I remember having times in those first months where I thought "beautiful? wonderful? THIS is what they're calling beautiful and wonderful???" Not that I didn't love my kids of course...but it is tough at times and there's nothing more precious than friends who can help you put one foot in front of the other until you come out of that newborn fog.
ReplyDeleteAA, OA, MA (Moms Anonymous) . . . all incredibly important while learning to live with/manage ourselves in the context of our addictions . . . and our children are so so our beautiful addictions, aren't they? Finding a good church and a good MA group--essential for new moms (and moms of teenagers!) Glad Friday was so good for all!
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