For nearly 14 years I have prided myself on being a strong mom. Letting the boys cry themselves to sleep when they were old enough to be able to so that they would learn to sleep on their own. Engaging them in chores and other responsibilities at appropriate ages. Always following through on the consequences I set forth. Limiting TV and video game time and facilitating their independence in doing homework. Teaching them to cook. And always, always winning a battle of wills when it was important that I win (though I confess I have won a few I shouldn't have even been fighting).
Of course, I have tempered this with limitless nurturing and unconditional love. The result is boys who know their boundaries, are assured that they will be allowed to experience the consequences of the actions they choose, and who can take care of themselves in many ways.
Today that pride was dented by a relatively tiny, weak, and helpless being. Wee 1 wore me down,d and I actually picked her up before she was asleep and she was still crying.
I tried to justify my actions. She is teething and, therefore, hurting. Her schedule has been odd lately with lots of family travel. But the fact of the matter is, she won. Fair and square, she held out longer than I could.
Now, there are many out in the big wide world who would say this happened because my heart has softened and now I simply cannot do to this child what I should not have done to my own children. That is certainly one interpretation, and I respect those who would see it that way.
I, however, can see only one logical explanation: I have met my match.
I would say you are behaving like a grandparent. They rarely treat the grandkids the way they treated their kids. You are parenting your kids right on, but this little one is more like a grandchild. She's already got 2 parents.
ReplyDeleteLove the way you write!
Oh, and there's no doubt, you could have met your match, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sandy. So true, except I am going to go with the Aunt/Niece relationship. :)
ReplyDeleteI also found out yesterday afternoon that mom and dad gave in the night before. We now have a united front. It may take all 3 of us, but together we surely have more gumption than a 6 month old!
By the way, today was about 3 minutes of minor screaming followed by peaceful slumber.
ReplyDeleteI believe she may have realized that she cannot take us all down!
Or, now that she proved she can she no longer needs to and wants to rest so she can play happily later.
Either way, I'm good with it!
Well, I spoke too soon. About 5 minutes after I thought she was asleep she began crying again. She held out for a good hour and fifteen minutes. I held out longer this time.
ReplyDeleteI admire her fortitude! And, all my dinner prep is done since I could not very well sit in the den and listen to her!
I don't cry myself to sleep any more, either. Thanks for your help with that! :-)
ReplyDeletemark