So Long Santa

Christmas traditions are wonderful. For Christmas I will do things I wouldn't do any other time of the year, like shopping and making caramel corn. For Christmas I will watch the same movies year after year even though I rarely like to watch the same movie twice. For Christmas I will go to extravagant lengths to hide things and get up earlier than anyone else in the house.

This year I bid adieu to one Christmas tradition: Santa.

Boy 1 has known the truth for some years now. He first began to question when he was seven, and each time he would ask if there were a Santa I would reply simply, "What do you think based on what you know? Does the evidence add up to a Santa or not?" That would launch him into a quiet reverie at the end of which he would share his conclusions. Then one day he inadvertently heard me talking to my mother about the "Santa gifts." That was the last piece of evidence Boy 1 needed, he had conquered the Santa myth!

Boy 2 has been questioning for a year or two. His investigative process, though, has been dramatically different from his brother's. While his brother thought and contemplated, Boy 2 tells me what he thinks and then begs me to tell him the truth.

Mark and I never told either boy that Santa does exist when asked directly. Rather, we always told them to think for themselves and decide based on what they know. As noted, this worked perfectly for Boy 1. But as every parent knows, every child is different and must be parented carefully and uniquely. The question of Santa turned out to be one of those areas in our family in which we had to parent our boys uniquely.

Telling Boy 1 to investigate the known factors thrilled and challenged him. Telling Boy 2 that merely sent him in frustrating circles. He tends to be more of a big picture thinker; the minutia of details holds no appeal as it did for Boy 1. So two nights ago I did the unthinkable--I answered Boy 2's question.

And just like that, with a few brief words, this penultimate Christmas tradition disappeared from our family.

I'm not a terribly sentimental person, and my heart is not breaking, but I do find other traditions holding a bit more weight; traditions that cannot be taken away simply because we no longer believe. When Boy 2 asked why I was making the caramel corn even though Boy 1 cannot eat it (braces), I simply said because it's what I do at Christmas. And when the boys said they did not want to watch The Polar Express, I overruled them and we all became quickly enthralled by this marvelous story. A sense of equilibrium has been maintained in the keeping of these and other traditions.

And the ultimate tradition of Christmas, the contemplation of the birth of the Christ-child, cannot be taken away merely by the whim of belief. It will always be true, weather any individual believes it or not, that Christ came to this earth in the form of innocent infancy to bring great joy to all mankind.